Thursday, June 30, 2005

How Did I End Up Here?

Wasn't I just eight years old playing in the yard with the neighbor wishing I was grown up and married? Well, be careful what you wish for. Where did the time in between go? Not that I am wishing to go back to high school or anything, but I am just saying it went by so quickly! Would I have really listened though had someone told me to cherish every moment with Judy Blume or my friends pretending we were in the "Girl Gang" (oh yes and there was a song too). Is it going to seem like this when I am eighty? Will I wonder where the time went? I am in no hurry to get to eighty let me tell you. This is bad enough with the wrinkles, sag and indigestion.

I totally swallow

My gum. I think spitting it out is a dirty habit and I hate seeing people spitting, it is such a turn off. Makes me cringe. I was in a doctor's office once and the trash bin was right beside me and a lady nicely dressed came and spit her gum out into the can with such force that I jumped. Gross. Can people not be discreet about discarding this treat? If you can't swallow, at least use a tissue.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Well well well what the do we have here. Steve with a mullet. Nice. Let me at least stick up for the poor guy and say that it was in fashion for a time. I didn't know him at the time. Phew. He didn't really know any better, so you can't really blame him...or can you. I know we will not be giving our kids any mullets that is for darn sure. I can't help but feel sorry for him. He looks so innocent. Emma thought this picture was of a girl. Hmm. I am so glad he outgrew this fashion fad. Why haven't others?

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Sweating Bullets

Just my luck. Wouldn't you know it. Oliver decided to make his own artwork on the wall for our landlord tonight. Why does this happen to me? I can't be everywhere at once to catch it all.

Damn You!

To all the corner stores out there who don't carry Lactose Free Milk, I curse you. We ran out of milk the other morning, so I ran out and bought the first thing I could find at the corner store closest to our house. Bad idea. I bought regular old milk. Skim to be exact. I am now paying for my laziness. I should have driven the extra five minutes to Safeway and bought Lactose Free, but noooo I wanted to be quick. Oh the bloat, and the nausea.

At last

I should be madly running around cleaning and tidying my house, but I don't really care anymore. The landlord is finally coming after three weeks of us pestering him. We have mold growing along the baseboards in the basement where the kids used to play. The floods here have ruined their playroom. We don't have it as badly as some people, thankfully, but it is still a pain in our ass. Ass. If the landlord had returned our calls, maybe we would not be dealing with the stink and mold and grossness that is now our basement. However....
He comes tonight and I have given my children chocolate (which I RARELY- almost never-give them) so this way, he will not notice the toys strewn about the house, he will only notice the hopping children on his head and on his back screaming at the tops of their lungs. We should be in for a good night.
My Dad has a real problem with boys playing with girly things. Oliver loves to play dress up and with barbies and have barrettes in his hair etc. You should have seen the look I got from my Dad when he saw Oliver's toes painted on Sunday. He nearly had a bird.Posted by Hello

Sunday, June 26, 2005

My garden is actually growing things! Posted by Hello

Friday, June 24, 2005

I ..... Think....I .....Just....Broke....My....Neck....

I guess dancing like a monkey on steroidal bananas to entertain the kids has its downfalls. I put on Nora Jones, yes I did say Nora Jones. One song is really jiggity and I got to tapping my toes, then full out flailing in all directions. The kids both stopped what they were doing and stared....jaw dropping stares. I could see what was going on in their heads...and then I remembered what I felt like as a kid when my mom would start dancing. I have turned into my mother... by embarrassing my kids. I think all parents embarrass their kids, its part of the job right? Well let me tell you, I am doing ONE FINE JOB.

I think Black is my favorite

I am doing laundry today....all day it seems. Up and down the stairs. While folding a dark load I was surprised to notice that I have 20 some odd little black t-shirts. Huh. No wonder Steve is always bugging me to wear some colour.

I gotta go home now, I can't take the screaming anymore!

Yesterday was a "Normal" day around here. I took Oliver to one of his doctor's appointments, cleaned the house, then made my way out to afternoon coffee with Steve's family. By myself. I sat beside Steve's grandmother who is hard of hearing and oh so cute. We always sit in the same place at the same mall where scantily clad teenagers walk by our table constantly. I am so embarrassed that Steve's grandparents have to see these smutty looking girls, can I not protect their innocence?
Yesterday was going as usual until Grandpa mentioned Williams - Sonoma coming to the mall. Oh my GOSH!!! The best store on earth. I hooted and screamed and Grandma nearly jumped out of her chair. But come on, it's Williams -Sonoma! I know she is fragile and I shouldn't startle her so. Next time I will sit away from her.
At one point I was telling a story about how I love the Dark M & M's and how I was buying four bags of them and Steve wanted to go through the 4-items-or-less checkout and we had two other items to purchase so he thought we could not go through that checkout, but I said we could because the M & M's counted as one item. Steve was upset and pacing in the checkout lanes because we could have been out of the store already. I was too embarrassed to put the candies back because people were looking at us and on and on the story went. Well, I guess I was getting louder and louder as I was telling the story and Grandma put her fingers in her ears and said "I can't take the screaming anymore! I gotta go home and cook my dinner"
Sorry Grandma.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

 Posted by Hello
 Posted by Hello

Praises Be

Finally good news about Oliver. He is slowly, but surely getting better in each and every area of his body. His eyes are holding their own and not going crossed as much, mostly just when he is tired. We are figuring out his belly and what he can eat so he doesn't throw up. Today we went to the ear specialist and had his hearing checked. PERFECT hearing. Perfect. One tube has fallen out already, and that ear has healed completely. What a miracle. He has come so far. His speach is forming in leaps and bounds, he is not the same boy. We still have to be careful with his immune system being low, but with every day that passes, we need to worry less about that. For today I am rejoicing about his hearing. Hurray!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

When did he grow up? Posted by Hello

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

It's that time of year again....

I know that I am not the only person who shaves less in the winter, but now that summer is here it is time to crack out the razor and shaving cream. So far I have had a few accidents. I know there are other methods of hair removal, but I am not sure I want to go down that road. I can manage the legs and underarms just fine, even with a few nicks, but the "area" this is something I am deathly afraid of. I tried it out the other day and mangled my 'self'. I was in a hurry and Oliver was playing peekaboo and well the light is not the greatest in the bathroom. It's more than a nick.
I think I am going to bring sasquatch into fashion. I don't need to wear a bathing suit this summer.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Thanks You Made My Day!

A little boy just came to the door and asked if my dad was home! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Then he asked for Steve....well can I call Steve my Daddy? I am not up on the lingo. How does that work?


I feel like a schoolgirl today. I just got off the phone from one of my new friends and feel so chipper. There is nothing like a good chat to make your day brighter. Thanks friend.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Saturday, June 18, 2005

You guys don't look like a bunch of partyers

Oh thanks. Have we reached "That Stage" of life?

Friday, June 17, 2005


"Mommy can you fix my sock?"

"No honey you can fix it yourself. Just take your boot off and pull up your sock."

"No moooommmy I need your help!"

"Fine! I'll help you. Here let me take your boot off. Gross, is that chocolate cake in your boot?"
So tired. How. Will. I. Make. It.Through. The. W-H-O-L-E. Day?

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Rat Tails? Seriously?

I guess they are back in...or are they? I saw a boy of about 12 when we were out walking the other night, and he clearly had a Rat Tail streaming down his back. Gross. I thought those had died and gone with the horrid bangs of the 80's...oh right what am I thinking, those are back too! What are people thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!? Yuck.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Would you drink the fat?

Oh the sorrow. Let me back up my story a bit first. I am addicted to the new M & M's dark mix. They are going to be the filler to my old McDonald's habit. My poor teeth are screaming in agony at the thought of more sugar in there. Daaaarrrrrkkkk Chocoooolaaaatte. Drooool. Ok Sorry. Steve and I were sharing a bag of these heavenly pleasures when I was attacked by Emma.
"Mommy, Can I have a cookie please?"
I did not want her to see my M & M's so I diverted her attention and in doing so dropped my last morsel into the jar of fat on the stove. Now I suffer.

Water water oh my gosh!

I am trying to let Emma be more independent, but it is hard for me to let go sometimes. Take for instance this morning. She told me she had to go pee. I said she could go by herself, but in the back of my head I felt a pang of discomfort. I knew I should help her. However, I let her go all be herself and did NOT help in any way shape or form.
We left for school, I ran some errands and took Oliver to an eye appointment. Two hours later I came home and I could hear a shower running or something. Steve should be sleeping...hmmm what the? I checked and he was sleeping. Weird. What was I hearing?
I found the source, it was coming from the main floor bathroom.
Emma had left the sink tap running after she used the bathroom this morning. With hot water. Thankfully it had not overflowed or anything.
Gotta love kids.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Some Like It Hot

Well, if I can't have McDonald's then I may as well destroy my insides with Red Hot beefy goodness. My Tongue is a little fiery and my throat burns a bit, and I am already burping up the burrito even though I am not finished it yet. Some would say I am a sucker for punishment. I just love food. The especially delightful food such as this in a category all its own. And I wonder why I have IBS. Ha Ha Ha.

On a different note, Oliver has been to the dietician and we found that he has lost weight. This would not be from throwing up on Friday night. Something is amuck. We just have to figure out what. I am not too worried, at least he is alive right? We are to check in again in a month or so.
Plus we have a hearing test next week. I think his hearing has improved. Let's see.
My sweet boy, someday will be so big. I am learning patience.

God told Noah to Build Him an Arky Arky

We have had a funky smell in the basement for a few days and every time I went down there, I thought maybe something had crawled into the dryer vent and died or something. Well I searched the laundry area and searched, but nothing. No birds, squirrels, mice or cats. Nope, no cats. What the heck! Where was the smell coming from? I had not left dirty laundry down there to rot. The kids had not left any food anywhere. What was the smell?
It had started when all our rain started and I was getting a little nervous about the smell when finally it seemed to go away...or we got used to it. It poured buckets yesterday afternoon, and even hailed for a bit.
I went down to do some laundry in the afternoon and discovered a trail of water coming from the wall under the wood. This was not good. I called Steve, the ULTRA handyman. (For those of you who don't know, I am handier than Steve sometimes.) He inspected the water as much as I had and then I went around to the other side of the wall to check if it had come down the outside wall at all. The carpet was drenched! Oh the stink. Cold slushy water in the carpet
We called the landlord and they said it is not in their hands, it is the condo's problem. The condo said They will have to cut open the walls and rip up the carpet. Lovely. Thankfully it is nothing like the Goodyear's endured a year ago. This is just a pain in the butt.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Sweet Oliver

He is still a sicky, but thankfully not barfing anymore. I think it may have been the nuggets we gave him. Damn you McDonalds! He also had a great dose of pink eye, so I did not let him go to church and infect everyone this morning. He stayed home and we had some good quality time together. Poor thing could not stop asking for Emma. He misses his constant companion. He started to colour on the wall so I took him on a l-o-n-g walk this morning to give him some fresh air and he kept asking where Emma went. He also thought that dropping his barrel of monkeys over the side of the stroller was a fun idea every five minutes.
Now he is reading quietly and I can have my tea. Sigh.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Took Emma to her favorite store this morning

She loves Safeway. We went and had a shop around. Thankfully this time she did not rip any farts off and announce them to the world like our last trip. However she did have to notice what other people had in the buggies. My nerves. You never saw me run so fast through a store. I did try to mention to Emma that it was not polite to say OUT LOUD what kind of personal creams people had in their carts, nor did they want the world knowing that they were buying diapers (pads). Poor Emma tried to be quiet, but it is just not in her nature. She has to be a running commentary for the whole trip.

I am trying not to panic

I found Oliver covered in barf this morning. I can't get the smell out of his hair. It has been a long long time since any of his episodes. He probably just has the flu right? It's hard not to overreact after all we have been through with him.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Can't leave Oliver naked for five minutes! Gosh! What a mess to clean up. I am also proud to say that is one of his RARE logs, he usually has peanut butter poops, so this was great to clean up.... Posted by Hello

I am a deranged cat-I Love the fact that it knows I don't like to brush my hair!

You scored as Derranged Cat. Wow. . . lay off the halucinogenics and brush your hair once in a while. You're one sick, derranged s.o.b.

Drunk Cat


Derranged Cat


Pissed at the World Cat


Couch Potato Cat


Love Machine Cat


Nerd Cat


Ninja Cat


Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Kids in a candy store

Nothing like seeing your kids for the first time-yes I know Emma is 3-but yesterday was her first time in a candy store. It was so much fun! I wanted to buy her everything, she was so sweet. Oliver was rather oblivious to the whole thing, but we did get him treats too, now that he can eat them. We walked home, Emma carried her treats and when we got home, we sat around the kitchen table sharing our treats. Special moments like that make having kids all worth it.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


I am so jealous of the United States. They get postal delivery on SATURDAY. What is with that?

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Oh the feeling of stretchy pants. Yes I wear them. Not your average sweat pant though. These are nice comfy pants, ones you can wear outside-in public. There is nothing like the sweet stretch of the pants as they ripple over my important parts. The pleasure of the stretchy pants is euphoric. After a long day bound up in jeans, bloated from holding in my gas, there is nothing like changing into cozy pants. It might rank up there with taking my bra off- although I rarely go braless-so I can't say.

I did it!!!!

I managed to hold myself back from going into a McDonalds today! I was out during lunch time today doing something mysterious....I will tell you when the time comes...and I heard the hungry rumbling in my belly, but resisted the glorious greasy heaven. I came directly home and made myself lunch. So proud. I will beat this addiction. Yes. I. Will.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Emma put on her lipstick with a BLACK crayon tonight. Posted by Hello

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Oliver was jealous of Emma and I gave in. Posted by Hello

Saturday, June 04, 2005

F you Cheesecake

I like to think I don't have a problem with dairy. Last night I tested my theory on this. Cheesecake, some of the best I have ever had. I was fine all night and all morning. We went out to the mall this morning and walked around for a few hours...then started the rumbling. Into Zellers we went to try to remedy the situation. Bathrooms undergoing cleaning, please use other ones! No!!!!!! So I waited for the family ones and someone else went in ahead of me.
Finally I got my chance and when I got in there I got stage fright. Ever happen to you? I can't poo in public.
I came out and we walked a bit more and decided to go home to get some relief.
Thank goodness. I almost didn't make it.
The nightmare that came out of me in there was enough to turn me off of dairy for a at least! The noises, the splashing, the rumbling. I even laughed at myself, because gosh darn it farts are funny.
I feel much better now thanks. Until next time.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Eeeewwww! Emma and I had fun out front digging up worms to put into our back garden. Look at the terror in her eyes. You should have heard us both screaming like jumpy schoolgirls. What a bunch of wusses. I can still feel them crawling on me. Gross! Posted by Hello


Why can I not smell anything coming from my slow cooker an hour into the cooking process?
Silly! I forgot to turn it on!!!!! Ugh!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


I received truly the coolest gift ever in the mail yesterday. The new "Write Me - Ring Me" card. The card was sent by a dear friend in Hamilton, boy it makes me homesick to get back there. Inside the card are two postage stamps and a phone card so you can call the person who sends it to you. I am fascinated with these cards and I guess they are only out for a short time which is really a shame because what a great idea.